I haven’t been posting much about the Great Sleep Crisis of 2010. That’s not because it is over.
But rather, because I am over it.
I think I’ve somehow found my way through the seven stages of sleep deprivation – kind of like grief, you know?
Stage 1. SHOCK & DENIAL
Mhhhhm. Wah? Huh? What? What time is it?
WTF? Why why WHY are you awake right now?
This can’t be happening. Again.
Stage 2. PAIN & GUILT
I am so goddamn tired.
My head hurts. My eyes hurt. I think my skin hurts.
And I’m being cranky and pissy to my child.
Stage 3. ANGER & BARGAINING
Dammit dammit dammit.
Hey, Elsa – I will give you treats tomorrow if you stay asleep until the sun comes up.
Forget the treats, then… I will pay for college.
Stage 4. DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS
Why me? I’m never going to get a full night’s sleep again.
Single parenting sucks. WTF was I thinking?
Stage 5. THE UPWARD TURN
Somewhere in the third week of the Great Sleep Crisis, it got somehow easier to deal with multiple awakenings during the night and too-early mornings, and still get through the day. Am no less tired, but slightly less bitchy.
I said SLIGHTLY.
Stage 6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
It must be a growth spurt. And I will just keep trying different ways to make you sleep until I find one that works. Something will work.
Stage7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
OK, so nothing works. You aren’t sleeping, and I’m not going to keep trying to change that – I’m too tired, for one thing.
It is what it is, as they say in Maui (dear Lord, please take me back there soon).
And one thing I know: it won’t last forever.