today was Elsa’s sixth swimming lesson in two weeks. i got her private lessons because i know she couldn’t (right now) function as part of a group lesson.
even with one-on-one attention, though, i can see her repeatedly get frustrated and/or lose focus from across the pool (i’m trying to stay far enough away to avoid being a distraction myself). sometimes she can snap back in, sometimes, not so much.
during the fifth session (a few days ago), Elsa really struggled – was obstinate and oppositional the whole time. she didn’t want to do any of the things the teacher asked her to, repeatedly screeched NO!! at the top of her voice, grabbed the sunglasses off the teacher’s face and threw them across the pool, etc.
it was charming, i tell you.
it was one of those moments when i want to simultaneously: (1) leap to Elsa’s defense and explain to everyone watching all about Elsa’s special needs and why she is acting this way, and (2) disappear, and just hope that the people at the pool aren’t all going to discuss over dinner the obnoxious brat taking lessons at the pool today.
the teacher – a saintly 20-something named Jane – seemed perplexed by Elsa’s behavior, but soldiered on through. i could tell that she was relieved when the 20-minute session was over. and i was happy to get Elsa out of there. (it made me wonder whether swimming lessons were a good idea at all. and i felt – as i often do – exhausted by the whole thing.)
but today, the tide turned for the better. Elsa was much more able to focus, was willing to do most everything Jane requested, and also kind of “got” it in a new way – she actually floated and kicked at the same time, while holding her face in the water. she was absolutely beaming with pride and was giving Jane high-fives.
made my day.
and a good reminder that we need to keep trying to do stuff, even when it looks like she can’t do it… because the next time she might.



7 comments
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12 August 2011 at 7:22 am
Liz
Ya know, I think your last sentence is good advice for parents of any kid…I know I sometimes get frustrated when it takes a little longer for something to “click” for Elfe than I think it should, because I forget that it takes time to learn new things…
12 August 2011 at 12:27 pm
Scooping it up
totally… i experience this a lot. “why are we doing this it’s a waste of my time, money, etc etc etc” and then when i am about to despair it clicks a bit. and then a bit more.
so glad it’s starting to work. even more glad you are writing again. blogging therapy is good.
13 August 2011 at 6:48 am
Susie Mumford
Really happy to read this…and I think since you have sought help and understand more what is happening with Elsa’s development, you can be more understanding of any outbursts and tend to hang in a little given the situation…AND !!! Things sound to be becoming more even !!! So PROUD of you, my Pet ! xox love and hugs,susie
13 August 2011 at 6:50 am
Susie Mumford
P. S.
Feeling so happy you are back on the air !!!! xoxooxox me again ( susie )
13 August 2011 at 8:47 am
Gia
Like everything,,,,practice makes perfect!
14 August 2011 at 4:15 pm
Melissa Scoot
wow. Just by chance I came to this site thinking it’s be dormant… boy was I wrong! Love your honesty and had no idea the daily living hell you were experiencing and I can only imagine the extremes in your own personal emotions. There nothing wrong nor to be ashamed of in medicating Elsa. We provide chemo for infant with leukimia, we start insulin for toddlers with diabetes, we perform surgery that touches the brain in cochlear surgery for the deaf, etc. and in your case a magic sticker to someone with a multiple diagnosis. (I’m sure you’ve had her tested a billion times but are you sure there’s no hearing loss… with the screaming and falling down (no balance) just sounds like me as a child until I got a hearing aid.) Hang in there… your friends are cheering you on.
15 August 2011 at 6:00 pm
kate
So intrigued by the manny. He sounds like a good fit for your household.
Wondering if it was the stress of nothing-working-before-everything-clicks that set her off.
And the old au pair? Please.
You’re all still welcome here!