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Today, for the first time since I waved goodbye to the bliss that is the full-time at-home nanny, I had to come home from work to take care of a sick kid.
Elsa woke up complaining that her ear hurt, and there was obvious swelling on her cheek. Mind you, I didn’t hear it or see it, as I was up and out before she woke up. But my fabulous morning babysitter called me at work and told me. Cue mild panic attack.
Luckily the sitter was able to stay for a while longer than usual, and then my mom was able to bring Elsa to the doctor. When she called me with the verdict (unspecified infection, with antibiotics, Tylenol, and rest for the several days), Mom also implied, quite nicely, that asking her to stay much longer with Elsa would be a bit much. (Which I already knew, but I was hoping she might volunteer.)
So, I ungracefully extracted myself from an all-day meeting at hightailed it home. Got here just in time to examine the patient and then send her off to sleep for what I am hoping is a looooong nap.
So far, I have managed to fit three (3!) business calls into this nap time, and am not now wasting valuable time blogging.
And, although today and tomorrow will likely be a pain in the ass (conf calls from home w/a 2.5 yr old in the background are not likely to be productive), I have to say I’m grateful. Because I realize I’ve gotten over six months into preschool life before having to stay home for a too-sick-for-school Elsa. Which is pretty damn good, right?
Elsa, that is. She spent the weekend very snottified and coughing and mostly cranky.
Except for about 10 minutes on Sunday morning when she was perky and happy, which made me think she was better, and so I decided we should go to the zoo with Suzanne after all. Which may have been a bad decision… was rather a short and fussy trip. (sorry Suzanne!)
She seems a lot better today – thank God, because I needed her to be able to go to school… of course, now I am starting to feel like crap. Am downing massive quantities of vitamin C and other healthy items.
Elsa’s 2-year check-up happened (yeah, this is a bit late, but whatever).
Nothing to report really, other than the fact that she is quite healthy, continues to be enormous, and she clearly landed in the right family.
Behold:
- She’s in 75-80th percentile in weight at 29.8 pounds.
- She’s in the 95-100th percentile in height at 36.5 inches.
- Forget the noggin measurement, but it’s still 95th percentile.
Got an interesting comment from the doc warning me that people might expect her behavior and/or development to be more advanced because, at just 2 years old, she is about the height of a child a full year older. I think there is something to this… will have to watch for that and speak for her to make sure she isn’t facing unrealistic expectations.
And, as if to confirm that she is in fact two (you know, in case I missed it), her every other word is NO. Which is often immediately followed by an impassioned demand for the very thing she just refused. She just can’t help herself from saying no first. It’s kind of hilarious. Except when it’s annoying. I can only hear NO, MAMA! repeated about 10,000 times in a day before it gets a bit old.
Also, in case you were wondering – no, Elsa most certainly does NOT want help with anything. “I DO IT!” is one of her favorite sentences. And “NO WANT IT!” (usually in response to proffered assistance) is perhaps the other.
Just so you don’t think she is entirely incorrigible, she does in fact know how to say both “I need help” and “sorry, mama” - but these phrases are, of course, rarely uttered. How I love them so.
I’m sick. And pissed off.
Not very surprising really – this often happens to me if I am really stressed, overtired, and then RELAX. Happened almost every time I had exams in law school – week afterward, we were out of school and I could relax and sleep and WHAM – I would get sick. Fun times.
Oh well – could be worse. In about a zillion ways. I’m not feeling horrible – actually feel pretty OK during the days… just too much coughing at night to sleep well.
But. I am also sick in the head, a little.
Will spare the details, but I am having a hell of a time letting go of some expectations I let myself get really, really, very attached to. Have been battling back and forth between accepting the reality of the present state and trying to control something I can’t control. For WEEKS now I’ve been spending so much emotional time and energy on this ridiculousness. And it is making me really unhappy. But that unhappiness doesn’t seem to be motivating me to LET GO of the battle.
Because I really don’t want to – it feels like giving up on something that will make me so so sad to give up on. Perhaps more miserable than the white-knuckle-desperately-hanging-on-miserable that I’m feeling now.
Argh.
I feel so frustrated and defeated at the same time.
Oh, and also sick.
… in the form of an apple. Also known as Save Your Money, part 2. 
This weekend I was wasted. And no, not in a good way.
Let’s just say that is is hard to get anything done over a weekend when the lunch you had Friday makes you violently, horribly, nastily, ill and pretty much incapable of getting out of bed for about 30 hours.
I am SO grateful to my village for taking turns with Elsa and/or simply being there and doing some of the heavy lifting this weekend – boy did I need it.
Thank you Suzi, Chrissy, Veronica, and Oma!!
Tonight (Sunday night) I just started to feel human again – thank goodness, because it was just in time for Suzi’s fab birthday dinner, which was all about the food. First food I’ve had since Friday, other than some tea and a few licks of Elsa’s peach ice cream cone. The dinner was, not surprisingly, great. But, right after we finished the strawberries and zabagone, I had to beg off early and come home because I felt, quite suddenly, like I was about to fall over from exhaustion.
Tomorrow is Monday and, unlike the rest of the world, I’ve been thinking that it can’t come soon enough.
happily snoozing away
Elsa seems to have bounced back a LOT. I got in late last night, let myself into the awesome guest house at KateM’s ranch, and immediately fell asleep. The great thing about this arrangement is that I was able to be there when Elsa got up this morning.
Thanks to KateM’s fabulous care, and a good night’s sleep, Elsa was already feeling a lot better than yesterday, and clearly having her mama back helped too.
We stuck around for a while for breakfast then hopped in the car for the ride home, and about 20 minutes from home, Elsa fell fast asleep – with her two favorite buddies, her “baby” doll and “po-la-boh” also known as the polar bear that Aunt Kate gave her.
She wakes up whenever I stop the car, so I was toying with the idea of just driving around for a while, but I wanted to get home. As expected, she woke up when we got home. But, I put her right in crib and she went back to sleep, which is her current state.
We are going to lay low today, unpack, do a little laundry, etc. A very rare unscheduled day!
Well, Murphy’s Law has kicked in.
Poor KateM has had a sick kiddo on her hands all day. Mine.
Elsa woke up unhappy and got more and more unhappy as the day wore on today. Lots and lots of crying. (And, that is definitely unusual.)
So, KateM broke down and texted me today and we chatted on the phone and decided it was definitely something significant… either she was having something physical going on (ear infection?) or she was just distraught that I was away for too long.
KateM then took Elsa to the pediatrician while I worked on changing my flight home. Turns out it is a bad sore throat, but not strep, thank God. (I am hugely relieved, though, that she is not having an emotional crisis causing her to crash.) She’s getting Tylenol for pain, but there’s not really anything else we can do. Poor thing. And poor KateM.
And I feel like an asshole for being so very far away when Elsa needs her mama.
I’m flying home tonight instead of tomorrow night. Will get there too late to see her today, but at least I’ll be there when she wakes up tomorrow.
I feel bad to bail our early on my fabulous sister, but she is (of course) being gracious and lovely about it. And she’s coming to visit late next month and she will stay with me and get lots of quality Elsa time.
For all of my adult life, I have had a take-it-or-leave it attitude toward coffee. I enjoy it at times, other times find it upsetting to my stomach and/or too acrid for my taste. And I have gone long stretches without it.
For about 5 years prior to my trip to Ethiopia, I didn’t drink coffee. And I didn’t mind that – I like tea, and have never had a caffeine addiction. And I won’t lie – I felt superior about that. Not like some kind of achievement, more like - I dodged that bullet and how great for ME, it’s that SUPER? tra la la. Somebody smack me.
That was then.
Single mommyhood has sucker-punched me in many ways, but this one was a surprise. I still don’t drink much in the caffeine category – maybe one cup of coffee and/or a soda per day. And, unless I have company, I don’t make coffee at home…
I have, however, developed a serious weakness for a soy latte with sugar-free vanilla syrup from Peet’s – that stuff is like crack. It’s my post-rowing treat a few times a week, and since it’s almost $4, I’m trying to keep it from becoming a daily habit.
But damn it’s good.
On Monday, I was working from home, happily going about my business, when I developed a big ol’ headache around 11:00 am. Since Elsa was off with the nanny for the day, I had taken the time to eat a real breakfast, so I knew it wasn’t a blood sugar thing. And it actually took me a while to figure out that it was a caffeine thing!
Holy moley – my first caffeine headache. It wasn’t bad – just annoying. But I poured myself a diet Dr. Pepper (yum!) and soon the headache was gone, confirming its cause.
Looks like I’ve joined the teeming masses who are behold to the caffeine monkey. Tra la la.
I got several strong referrals for an awesome homeopathic MD who specializes in Pediatrics, and who has an office right near where I live. Not only is she well-regarded in the medical community and an author of several books on homeopathy, she is Nigerian (I am always happy to find healthcare providers and other professionals of color to be in Elsa’s orbit).
I was ALL excited about having her be Elsa’s new doctor (well, at least a regular supplement to her existing Pediatrician).
Anyhoo, I called for an appointment – and was kind of shocked at the fees. For a 45-minute “constitutional” (which is like an overall exam and development/prescription of a remedy), it’s gonna cost north of three hundred dollars.
You read that right. (And no, they don’t take any insurance.)
So, I might suck it up and pay to see if there is something that would be a good alternative to tubes, but I’m thinking this fabulous doctor won’t be part of our regular healthcare program. Too bad.
Our appointment isn’t until the first week of January – but I’ll let y’all know how it goes…
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