You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Project Gabby’ category.
I’m on day two of an über-low-carb eating plan, which I am hoping to sustain until I leave for Sweden in about 10 days.
And I hate everybody and everything.
My big jeans (I have 3 sizes of jeans in my drawers – don’t you?) are getting tight, and I am not going to buy new ones. And I don’t want to sit for 17 straight hours in too-tight jeans, no matter how good a seat I get on that plane. Also, I have a smokin’ hot red pencil skirt that I’m dying to wear for my first meeting with the investment bankers – just to show ‘em I mean business and to distract them at the same time. You know… “damn, that lawyer drives a hard bargain. but I also want to buy her a drink. wait, did I just give on that indemnity provision?!?!” But I need to lose just a bit so I can actually breathe whilst wearing it.
So – anyway – seems there will be no carbs in my immediate future. Which makes me cranky. (Where “cranky” = “super bitchy“.) Eventually, the cravings will lessen a bit, but until then, everyone in my immediate area is in danger, as lashing out is a favorite of mine. And then there is my fondness for harsh criticism of any food which I am actually permitted to eat, like the disgusting protein shake I had for breakfast today.
(Seriously, if someone would make a protein drink that tasted even a teensy bit better than the weirdly-grainy, overly sweet, viscous concoctions currently available, they would make a million dollars. From me alone. For I am too lazy to use a blender and make my own.)
I was surprised – nay, SHOCKED – to find that today’s offering in our corporate cafeteria not only fit the eating plan, but actually looked (and tasted!) nice. Behold, pecan-balsamic-crusted salmon on a nice little salad. Not one fucking carb to be found, but I liked it anyway.
Kind of disappointing though, because I was really in the mood to bitch about it.
I had an awesome girlfriend/culinary double-header yesterday…
A joint birthday lunch – which I hope will become an annual event – with the lovely and fabulous Natasha (my bday was Weds, her bday is today) at Town Hall (where I had perhaps the best burger ever – topped with fontina and (yep) bacon) and sampled Natasha’s truly amazing fish and chips).
This was followed by dinner at A16 with the inimitable Q, which included burrata (love), delish roasted beans, an incredible tuna conserva/onion thing, and a funghi prosciutto pizza that was nothing short of transformative. Also, many glasses of awesome Italian wines.
I have one more birthday celebratory thing planned – on Saturday – and then I am going to need to get seriously serious on the intake reduction. My trip to Austin was so much fun – photos still to come, I promise - but I pretty much threw all restraint out the window when it came to food.
So it’s been a nice long interlude of stuffing my face with too much of everything. And who doesn’t love that? But my biggest pair of jeans is now getting tight, and I refuse to go buy clothes to accommodate my recent expansion.
So it’s back on the wagon for me. After Saturday, that is.
I don’t like getting up early. I don’t like going out in the cold. I don’t like how hard it is to get my body working when it wants to be at rest which is, to be honest, most of the time.
But I do love rowing. Even though it takes place in the dark, cold, early morning hours, when my body would strongly prefer to be curled up in my warm bed.
I love being on the water. I love the synchronicity, balance, and power of it. I love how it requires me to pay 100% attention. I love how it feels to be happily tired on the way back to the dock, steam rising off warm bodies into the chilly dawn air. I love the camaraderie of the other crazy people who do this sport.
Mostly, I love how it brings me peace.
OK, in case anyone cares (um, yeah), I have not yet abandoned ship on the Bikram yoga thing.
In fact, I went yesterday morning. And didn’t feel like passing out – and the weirdest thing happened, which was that I felt less and less tired as the class went on – I finished the session much more energized than I started.
Then today, when it was too windy to row, I went and had coffee instead.
And then I went to Bikram yoga. I kind of wanted to. WTF?!? Seriously, two days in a row, people.
And – almost afraid to say it for fear it will be used against me later – but… I feel good.
went again this morning. did not hate it quite as much.
still suck at it, but didn’t have to sit down/come out of a pose as often.
body feels very different afterward though, in a good way. brain too – but that is slightly worrisome for a control freak like me.
the jury is still out.
This morning, I dragged the lovely Clare (in town for her brother’s wedding and staying for one night at my casa) to my first Bikram Yoga class in a decade.
I went to Bikram Yoga once before – about 11 years ago. And apparently I have a poor memory, because I didn’t quite remember how I felt about it before. (And oddly enough, when I went before, Clare was with me!)
I’m not still sure if I hated it or liked it.
On the one hand, it was horrible.
The room is heated to 105 degrees and the class is and hour and half long. Three times I had to sit and put my head down because I thought I was going to pass out. Twice I thought I was going to throw up. The few moments when I glanced over at Clare, she looked to be about as happy as I was about being there – not. I couldn’t do any of the poses correctly (except, of course, shava-asana AKA corpse pose, which involves lying prone on one’s back and not moving), and was totally embarrassed by my inability to even hold my arms straight for very long. Weak. And then near the end I got weirdly emotional and that was kind of freaky.
On the other hand, once it was over, there was definitely an endorphin rush. And also a spacey kind of out-of-body kind of feeling, which actually I’m not sure I like. I think I lost 3 pounds (water weight, but whatever). My spine feels a few inches longer, and that is good.
After class , we stumbled out of the studio and toward the car… very very slowly. You know that wobbly feeling in your legs when you aren’t really sure you are going to stay vertical? We had that. So, we proceeded, like a couple of old ladies, to slowly cross the street.
I guess we weren’t moving fast enough, as a driver waiting to turn right onto that street pulled right up behind us then laid on the horn. Scared the ever-lovin’ shit out of me. So that was the exclamation point on the end of our Bikram Yoga experience today.
I’m not sure if I want to do hot yoga again. I felt like crap during it.
But maybe I need to go back because sometimes the things I resist the most are the things I most need…
Anybody have an opinion?
Since starting Project Gabby (and after several months of achingly slow progress before getting really serious), I have now lost….
Yay for me! My face is starting to re-emerge again from multiple chins and general pudginess. I can see my jawline again! It’s not really sharp yet, but it’s getting there. It’s easier to cross my legs. And it’s easier to climb stairs.
I’m pretty happy. Still have a way to go, but this is great progress… here’s to fitting into the airplane seat better on my way to go get my girl!
As I have mentioned previously, I am on a quest to get more healthy (AKA, Project Gabby).
I want to have lots of energy and be as fit as I can when my girl arrives. And also I want to *comfortably* fit in those horrible airplane seats for the loooong trip to Addis and back. And, I admit it, I also want to be
a hottie more attractive and comfortable in my own skin. I want to verge on hottie-ness.
I’m moving along, but it has been slow going so far – but I have plans to ramp it up. Now.
I’m looking for a few inspirational quotes or ideas that I can post for myself… I want to focus on becoming, not on losing. Growth and health and moving forward.
My new favorite, which I just ran across this morning, is a Poem, called “Risk”, by Anais Nin:
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
I love that!!
Do you have any favorites to share??
Well, it sure felt like California around here today. It was 80 degrees! Pretty nice. I took India for a walk, and then did a bunch of work around the house, which felt good.
Tomorrow, I meet with the trainer person at my new gym (yikes) – she’s going to assign a trainer to work with me. I desparately need this, because I’m having a hell of a time with getting back into exercising. I have serious entropy issues.
But, having a few appoinments with a trainer will be great, because it will make me SHOW UP. Once I’m at the gym, I’m generally OK – it’s just that I need help dragging my arse there. Accountibility is key – hate to say it, but it’s true.